Inspiration and Encouragement

Jeff loved Camp Joy! He loved Joan Van de Wall, Camp Joy Director! Joan was there at the end of Jeff's earthly life, when he told her he was ready to go to see Jesus. For a while I couldn't go back to Camp Joy, but I wrote about it in the script of "Journey With Jeff," first produced in a 5-CD package. When Joan listened to these she wrote, "Your tape is an absolute spiritual piece of hard and struggling work! It is an inspiration to all who listen. I can feel your hurts, struggles and at times discouragement. I could also feel Jeff's emotions, which brought back many memories. I could feel Bob's struggles, too, and his faith. Yes, Jennifer, too --her patience at times and her love for her family, and Jeff. This work of Discipleship is great for anybody who is struggling with their problems -- the same 'God, hear my cry;' and 'God, help me to listen and trust;' and 'God, I love you, help my unbelief!' Jeff's faith just shines through like the light in a dark room. He sure is a precious gift to all he encountered."~~~Joan bought a couple dozen copies of "Journey With Jeff" to give away to her Camp Joy staff. Memories were stirred. People became aware of what parents of people with special needs go through. Some said it was amazing what Jeff could do, and what he could understand. Camp Joy's staff is incredible, too. They have been loving caregivers for more than 25 years! I can hear Jeff's affirming, "Yeah, Mom!!" now.

Aha Moments

Talk about inspiration! Mike from Mutual of Omaha, the 'official sponsor of the aha moment,' responded to my July 3rd blog, "Music, Music, Music." He said he really enjoyed this great post. "I have always marveled at the connection kids have with music, and special needs kids are no exception!" he said. "I thought you might enjoy this video in which Jack tells a story about helping a special needs boy sing a song in a talent show. They BOTH got alot out of it: ahamoment.com/pg/moments/view/203." Jack says, "I'll never forget that kid. He changed my life." As a professional musician, Jack had been hired for the summer to play piano in the great parlor of a summer resort. This ten year old boy hung out there listening to him play the piano. One day he asked Jack if he knew 'A Little Help From My Friends" from the Beatles. He played it and the boy sang it perfectly, then asked if he could be in the weekly talent show. They checked it out with his parents, who were very hesitant and afraid for him. Jack told them, "You know, he'll be with me. I think he'll be able to do it." Jack continues, "The night of the talent show, he gets up there and he knocks it out of the park. There wasn't a dry eye in the house." This joyful moment inspired Jack to look into another career. He earned his Master's in psychology and social work, working with kids. Aha moments ~~~ such wonderful serindipity!

Encouragement From Family

As John Paul blew out the candles on his 40th birthday cake, guests from California to New Jersey, from Colorado to North Carolina were there to help him celebrate. His girlfriend Dama's mother was there, after buying a copy of Journey With Jeff at the earlier Middleburgh library presentation. His sister, Heather (presenting the cake) is home from school in San Francisco for a month, and setting up a Study Tour plan for Art students such as herself (see her website link, Heathers Art.com on this blog.) She also helped me technically so you, my readers can add comments, your hits will be counted, and my Calender is available. Richard from New Jersey, John Paul's brother's namesake, was there with entertaining stories. His wife, Roberta works as a receptionist in a doctor's office. She told me enthusiastically she would spread the word that Journey With Jeff is available on Amazon.com. to the caregivers of those with special needs who come into the office. Thank you, Roberta!! At this celebration I met cousins I'd never met before, or hadn't seen for years. This weekend was truly a fantastic, friendly, family feast!

Journey With Jeff in Hometown Library

This weekend has been full of inspiration, encouragement, family and friends! Since one of my
High School classmates knew I'd be in Middleburgh, NY, for my
nephew John Paul's 40th birthday, he arranged a presentation of Journey with Jeff at my hometown library. Usually 8 - 15 people attend the library presentations. There were 12 who came this time -- schoolmates (some with spouses,) cousins, teachers and librarians. As I shared how I came to write Jeff's story, and our joys and challenges along the way, I read three vignettes: "Welcome To Holland," which helps people stop mourning what they wish their child could have become, but open their arms to the trip to come; "Movin' On" which includes many of the events and emotions of Jeff moving from home; and "Big Bird's Car," my favorite story, and one which causes much laughter.~~~Six people bought a copy of Journey With Jeff, and a few shared their own stories. One woman bought a copy for her sister whose daughter has severe Cerebral Palsy. I learned that a young man in his 30's was there, along with his parents, who is slowly deteriorating, and the doctors can do nothing about it. They seem to be handling it bravely. I left a book for the Middleburgh Library shelves as well. I hope the people will Read It, Review It, and Pass It On!

"Journey With Jeff" on Google Alert

About seven blogs ago I wrote of Michelle, who had lost four babies by miscarriage. When she was expecting again, tests showed the possibility of having a child with Down syndrome. The doctor asked if she wanted to abort, and she said, "No way!" Her son is a fine, flourishing four-year-old today. The tests were wrong! ~~~Here is another story, quite the opposite. Patricia Bauer writes in her blog about an Oregon couple who seeks $14 million in a "wrongful birth" lawsuit. This is to cover the cost of raising their 2-year-old daughter born with Down syndrome, providing education, medical care, and speech and physical therapy. Deborah and Ariel Levy said they would have gotten an abortion if they had known their daughter would have the condition. They said they were given incorrect information , and their lives were changed because of it. There were many responses to this article: Keri says, "Some people expect their children (and other people's children) to be born perfect and to stay that way." The NWDSA is concerned with the tyranny of perfection at the heart of this. Two readers say," Just think what this is saying to their two older children..."We love you both so much (just like we love your little sister) but if you had a birth defect (or maybe if you develop a problem) we'd wish that you'd never been born." Chris says, "Since the Levy's don't want their burdensome daughter, I'll take her!" Keri continues, "I get such joy from my daughter, and I couldn't imagine her any other way. She's an amazing individual and I know that she will go far in life. Anyone who doesn't think so needs to get out of her way!" I love that last statement! What enthusiasm and encouragement! It's an acceptance of their daughter, and her incredible potential to be all that God created her to be!

Jeff's "I love you!"

Joy! Pure joy! That is what I sensed in Michelle as she told me about her youngest child. After she had miscarried four babies, and was pregnant once more, tests showed that there was a possibility of the baby having Down Syndrome. "Do you want to abort?" the doctor asked her. "No! No way!" she said, "I've waited a long time for this baby!" She carried her son full term, and when he was born, he was fine. He is four years old today, and being a very "normal" child. "What if I had aborted?" she reflected. "This beautiful son of mine would never have been born!"~~~I read that 90% of pregnancies which predict a child with Down Syndrome are aborted! 90%! Many families who want to adopt a child with special needs find there are not many available. Please spread the word that if a mother-to-be cannot handle the possibility of a baby with difficulties, she should deliver this precious child, and offer it for adoption! So many people will be blessed!

Differently Abled

Jeff loved to be busy, to be helping people. And, the people around him found jobs for him to do, enjoying the wide smiles he gave so generously. I was very thankful for the wisdom, support, and encouragement of those wonderful persons! Today I learned of another
mother whose 43 year-old differently abled daughter is living in an LAI Assisted Living apartment, going to a work program, and eager to help plan lots of activities for her group. This mother says, "I enjoyed reading Journey With Jeff. It reminded me of the difficult times I went through with my daughter, and made me feel successful for having met those challenges! The book gave me some ideas of what's available. It inspired me." I am inspired by remarks such as this mother's, as I watch the ripple effect of Jeff's story.

Caregiving For Caregivers

My neighbor is a Social Worker, a caregiver for many people. Last summer she bought a copy of Journey With Jeff: Inspiration for Caregivers of People with Special Needs.Today I asked if she had been able to plug in Jeff's story with any of her work. She said the book opened her eyes so she could help parents deal with difficulties. She was enthusiastic as she spoke of sharing it with co-workers who had people living with Down syndrome in their care, and with others in her office. Parents to whom she loaned her copy told her it was worthwhile reading. Caregivers need caregiving, and I'm so glad to see my neighbor pass it on!

Encouragement On The First Day of Spring

 

It pleased me very much last Friday when the Wellness Center elder seniors responded with laughter, questions, and their stories at my presentation for Journey With Jeff! We encouraged each other with such comments as, "All the children with Down syndrome I've ever met are very loving." Of course, I was happy to agree with this! One mother has a son who is differently abled whom she knows she will lose soon. I'm glad she could share that grief. Caregivers need caregiving,too. A woman said there were twins in her family years ago, both of whom had special needs. Many resources were not available then as they are today. One of the boys grew up to live a fairly normal life, while the other was shut away from the public eye. An Asian grandmother asked me if I agreed with her about not allowing the teacher of her granddaughter, who is an adopted child from China, to put her back in the previous grade now, instead of in September. My encouragement was to agree that she tell her children this. Before my presentation began, a woman bought Journey With Jeff, but her husband said he had no time to read such books. As everyone was leaving, he said, "I think you've convinced me that I should read your book, too." Yea! Now that was encouragement for me!

Encouragement

We all need encouragement! This week at our Lenten mid-week service our Pastor encouraged our sharing with someone else the Good News of God's love and care, by giving each of us a $5 or $10 bill to match and to pass on. There was a Benefit Show for Caitlyn, a 10 month old girl with Neuroblastoma this weekend to help off-set the costs of her treatment. To encourage Caitlyn's caregivers, Bob and I tucked the bills into four of my favorite chapters of "Journey With Jeff; Inspiration for Caregivers of People with Special Needs" and signed the book, "From one caregiver to another." We deeply hope God's love and care come shining through! (Photo is of Jeff at one year.)

Merry Christmas to My Readers!!

One day I visited our Brockport Library to check out the number of times their copy of "Journey With Jeff" had been borrowed, and found 8 due dates listed! Yay!!!! Maybe someday soon I shall be able to check out the six other town libraries where "Journey" lives?~~~The day before Christmas I received an e-mail from a mother who wrote: " I recently borrowed your book from the library, and I have started reading it. I am finding it fascinating and very uplifting, and I can relate because years ago we found out our daughter was profoundly deaf. As I read your book, I keep thinking of other people I would like to recommend it to. I tried to purchase it today at Borders but they said it was out of print. Is there a way to still order it?" Immediately, and with great joy I e-mailed her back: "If you live in Brockport you can buy "Journey With Jeff" at Liftbridge Book Store, or Salvation Station. If you live in Greece, you can order it from Barnes & Noble. You can also order it from Amazon.com, or, I can send you a copy. The cost in the stores, and at Amazon.com is $17.95. Covering shipping and handling, I can send an autographed copy to you for $20.00~~Whatever's best for you and for the other people to whom you'd like to recommend it." And of course, I invited her to take a look at my blog at this website. (Photo is the author with the CD of "Journey With Jeff,"which entered the Brockport Library about a year before the book edition.)

Life at Jeff's Fullest Potential

Brenda is one of the Lifetime Assistance Inc. workers at Main Street, Brockport who bought a copy of "Journey With Jeff" earlier this year. Brenda recommends: "Journey With Jeff deserves a 5 Star Rating. This book has a message for all. Sybil's story about Jeff showed me his life, through her 'eyes and heart.' I saw and felt her challenges and pain. I wondered how she found the courage to keep going. Her determination to keep going even at times when she questioned the 'why of it all' is inspiring. She could have adopted that 'pity me attitude.' She did not. She took each day and found the true meaning of the little things that make up the life of a child. In Jeff's story, there is a message for all. The message is of Jeff's determination to live his life to his fullest potential and his Mother's courage to make sure that was possible. Sybil is an inspiration."~~~Thank you, Brenda!!

October 12,1988--October 12,2008

It is 20 years to the day since Jeff went Home to be with the Lord! Those 20 years have gone quickly! Jeff has left a sweet, loving, happy legacy in "Journey With Jeff," our family's God-story. We are blessed by the people who say that they couldn't put the book down, or that they are using it as a devotional book, or that it has helped them accept the diagnosis of their own child with special needs. As the last line in "Journey" says, "Jeff's unconditional love and influence continue on." (Photo is Jeff fighting leukemia in the hospital, visiting with our Pastor, Don Miller.)

A Single Rose & 2.5 # of Coffee

My Bishop and also my friend, Marie Jerge wrote: "Jim and I were both totally blown away by "Journey With Jeff. We both 'read' it as we drove and both of us knew moments when we had to pull to the side of the road because we could not drive safely through the tears. What an incredible and faithful and powerful witness to the wonder and grace of our God! I used a couple excerpts in my sermon this morning and several folks asked where they could get the book. You have done a wonderful thing in sharing your experience and especially your faith in the midst of tough times. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Jim will be in touch when he has a chance - but know that this has been a special gift to both of us." ~~~ Soon Jim came to our home, bearing a single rose ('I read your book,' he said) and a 2.5# bag of coffee!! (In the book I said that I think a single rose means more than a whole bouquet; and I wrote of times Bob and I talked seriously over a cup of coffee.) We talked over some tough times, then Jim bought 12 copies of "Journey With Jeff" to share with his prayer group, and for gifts. What wonderful friends!