"Journey With Jeff" Goes Home with Caregivers

Three women, all caregivers, bought a copy of "Journey With Jeff" at the Women's Prayer Retreat this past weekend. Amy is a psychologist in Ohio, and plans to share Jeff's story with another friend who also came from Ohio. Martha and Karen are caregivers in special education with children with special needs. They shared the challenge of helping a child become all he or she is capable of being. Mary, a single mother, returning to the retreat this year, told me the book she bought last February had helped her in the caregiving of her own self as well as of her children. Pastor Mary Anne and I lead the retreat, choosing "The Shack" for discussion with our 28 women. Many of us have been through a "Great Sadness," and learned how much a relationship with God gives us inspiration, encouragement and hope. We caregivers are not alone!!

Spreading The Good Word

 
Some very precious people have been reading "Journey With Jeff; Inspiration for Caregivers of People with Special Needs," and then passing the book on to others to read. Selma is one of those people. She has loaned it to three Special Education teachers, and to a grandmother with a hyperactive 12 year old grandson. This grandmother says the book has helped her to be more patient. It gave her hope, and she is looking forward to a second book around those people who have responded to "Journey" with their own stories. One of the teachers commented, "The family is blessed to have had such a wonderful young man in their lives." (Amen!) The teachers found the book very interesting and inspiring, and Selma said they all loved it. I am so blessed to have the book find its way into so many lives. (Photo is of Jeff in his Dunkirk classroom.)

Big Bird says "Hey there!"

"You know," said Lance, aka "Big Bird", "I still get people coming up to me and saying, "I just read that story again about Jeff washing your car, and I am still laughing!" We met in the vestibule of a funeral home because Don Lawry, the founder of LIfetime Assistance, Inc. has died. His wife Donna still serves on the LAI board, and their son with Down syndrome, now 51, works in the agency's sheltered workshops. Many people were gathered around her, and I pray that support will continue for a long time.~~~ I encouraged "Big Bird" to refer those readers back to me so that I can include their thoughts in a sequel to "Journey With Jeff", picking up on the title of the last chapter, "And The Beat Goes On." How do people deal with the death of a beloved one? How do they create a new life? What do people do who have no faith? This, too, should be a book about caring for caregivers.

Old Photos Discovered

It was absolutely amazing how well Jeff behaved each time we went out to dinner ~beginning with the time my
husband, Bob took me out to dinner because I was upset with a doctor telling me children with Down syndrome
never do this and never do that!! Jeff was extra good that evening! (See "God is Running With Us" in Journey With Jeff .) He seemed to know this was a special time! When Jeff's dad was interviewing for a job in Dunkirk, the Council president and his wife took us out to dinner. We were all surprised at how well Jeff handled a spagetti dinner while we were there, AND, his manners were perfect! We've discovered some old pictures of family get-togethers for birthday celebrations. These photos, taken at Jeff's 13th birthday dinner, are of Grandma and Grandpa Youmans and Jeff's sister, Jennifer, plus aunts and uncles. Jeff seemed always happiest around lots of people.

"Mother Warriors" by Jenny McCarthy

I loved Jim Carrey before I met his wife, Jenny McCarthy, and her son, Evan, but now he's my Hero! He courted and married a woman with a small child with autism. Evan's autism made him scream through nights and days, misbehave in public, and caused the rejection of a number of friends and family. Jim told Jenny she had to feel the anger and frustration instead of putting on a smiley face. "If you feel it," he said, "you can heal it!" When she accepted Evan's diagnosis, and surrendered to it she said the healing began. (Compare my chapter in "Journey With Jeff" called, "Nitty Gritty Wisdom"!) "I needed to get on with life," Jenny said, "Life is fun! Evan is here for us to learn. He is such a light!! He made me who I am today." ~~ I, another caregiver of special children, learned that, because of all the sights and sounds accosting an autistic child, he needs to move his eyes away from you in order to listen to you! Diet has made a huge difference in Evan's life. So has focusing on all his accomplishments. Jenny emphasizes that there is power in knowledge, and power in community, as well as in a mother's instinct. She encourages mothers who feel alone to be more vocal and to ask for assistance, because thoughts and prayers also help. When Jenny asked her mother what she should do, her mother said, "Everything responds to love." YES!! The full title of Jenny McCarthy's book is, "Mother Warrior: A Nation of Parents Healing Autism Against All Odds." Sounds like a breakthrough to me! (Both of our books are available at Amazon.com. Enjoy!)

God Doesn't Make Mistakes

Discovery!!~~A video on You tube that celebrates the joy of a child with Down Syndrome! The video, "God Doesn't Make Mistakes" can be found on www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfuaNhXI1Ao. Why was Jeff born with D.S.? Why was his friend next to him on the stairs born prematurely? What made his older friend take them both under her young wing?!? I do not know; but what I do know is that all of us mothers were blessed more than we ever thought possible!
Doctors don't know it all -- they need to learn from us mothers! We need to stay on top of situations, and be a team with doctors, teachers, and other people in our special needs children's lives. No, God does not make mistakes!!

Music Lover

Look closely at that face ~~ innocent? Plotting? Maneuvering? Mom has just said, "Get down! Now!" after a book in Jeff's hand "helped" the record player play the records. This photo is an illustration of one of the stories in "Journey With Jeff" about his love of music, which began very early. As soon as he discovered that melodies came from that box we called the record player, Jeff climbed up as close as possible to watch and to listen. One of his favorite albums was A Child's Introduction to the Orchestra. He learned the sounds of all the instruments, often pointing them out within the music being played. "Bass Fiddle, Mom!" he'd shout out with glee. We were hearing more and more words, and delighting in Jeff's delight. When the music began at a church service, Jeff's head lifted from whatever he was doing, ready to sing along in "Jeffanese" with the congregation. By the time he was an adult, people were aware he was attending church that Sunday when they heard his voice singing the melody -- just one beat behind. (FYI, Jeff did get down. He left the book on a table and climbed right back up.)